Oh, Europe.

A Reply to Hanzi Freinacht on America's "erratic and irresponsible behavior," and other lamentations from the Eurocratic Left.

“To my dear American friends,” opens the letter by a nom de plume character, Hanzi Freinacht. Metamodernism’s messiah wants you to sit up and pay attention.

Hanzi is in block quotes:

When I talk with you, it feels like you haven’t fully grasped what has just happened—and what is happening. I completely understand that many of you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut; with everything going on at such a rapid pace, it’s difficult to keep up. Dazed and confused. Conflicted. Struggling to see things clearly. I get it.

It’s funny. I don’t remember our talking at all. Nor does it feel like I’ve received a punch in the gut. Maybe we’re all zombies, feeling nothing due to a collective inability to grasp “what has just happened—and what is happening” here in our own country. Maybe you possess a unique insight sitting in your cafe over there, reading whatever your minders permit you to read. (But somehow, I doubt it.)

On the other side of the Atlantic, however—and across your northern border—more and more of us have moved on. Because we have to. People are facing the hard, sad facts and are taking action.

Assuming “we” refers to Europeans, including the people and the political class, this is good news. We’ve been waiting for you to take action.

You see, Europe’s torpor has cost us. The American people are tired of covering Europe’s security while subsidizing its generous welfare states. (Our welfare-warfare state is insolvent.) Some of us would like to see you take action to protect free speech and mind your borders, too. Hope springs eternal.

We still love you, on some level, but we can’t get dragged down by your erratic and irresponsible behavior.

It’s nice to be loved, I suppose. We hope you can also extend grace from that love. You see, we have serious problems at home and must look after them. I don’t mean just social problems like street Fentanyl and deaths of despair. I mean, our political class has put a half-century of imperialism on a smoking credit card. Today, it costs us more to service our debt than to pay for all this defense, even though we pay 3-4 times more than the next biggest military spender.

Now, as to the accusation that we’re being “erratic” and “irresponsible,” our president can undoubtedly be a boor. But when it comes to playing world police, most of us have had enough. Besides a handful of thoughtless lemmings with “I stand with Ukraine” stickers on their techno-feudalist profiles, we certainly don’t want to be responsible for putting any more Ukrainian and Russian men into a meat grinder. We think bringing that war to an end is the responsible thing to do, even for a boor, especially if we’re paying the tab and you’re just paying the tip.

We’re in the middle of the worst security crisis of this century and simply cannot afford to waste more time on your issues. It’s great if you show up at the last moment (always late when there’s a world war, eh?), but we’re no longer relying on you to do so.

Are you speaking as “Hanzi,” the Swiss character from a country that always declares neutrality? Or as a Swede whose country stayed out of WWII and has not spent more than 1.5 percent of its GDP on its defense—despite living right across the sea from your enemy in the middle of a so-called “security crisis”? And speaking of “late,” didn’t Sweden join NATO a few minutes ago?

We’re happy you’re not expecting us to get embroiled in any more world wars. That’s the point of negotiating a peace. Anyhoo, the Second World War helped turn us into a monstrous empire, but the people are over it. Surely, you understand, even though you have neither produced nor paid for an empire in a while.

And even if you choose a more sane and responsible administration at the next election, there’s no guarantee you won’t flip 180 degrees at the one after next. The US has become far too unstable to remain the leader of the free world. It’s painful, but we have to say goodbye. The damage has been done, the trust has been broken, and there’s no going back now.

It’s true. Our two-party system is a swinging pendulum, but historically, one hypnotizing our people to distract them from the antics of an intractable administrative state. Still, don’t flatter yourself. We haven’t had a sane and responsible government in a long time. And neither have you.

Even the Nobel laureate Barack Obama, that picture of sanity, destabilized the Middle East and orchestrated a coup in Ukraine that made your Russian neighbor nervous. Obama also had federal agents spy on his opposition’s campaign in a manner that would begin eight years of illiberal attacks that somehow you Europeans have been conditioned to accept as normal. Oh, and “stability” is code for the status quo. We have enough sense to know deep instability ticks and tocks in the status quo like a time bomb. It’s a luxury belief to think otherwise.

But yeah, being “leader of the free world” is a thankless job, even if it’s a job held by some of the most corrupt and unaccountable people on earth. Don’t forget: We the People are not the Glob. We’re just tired of the Glob treating us as milk cows for adventurism in the Middle East and Eastern Europe, which has created enemies for us and refugees for you. (I understand that’s not working out so well. Time for you to take action.)

It’s very similar to a family crisis in which an unstable member has repeatedly let everyone down, causing lots of damage and heartbreak—and finally, most of the family has had enough and felt compelled to cut them off because they no longer trust them.

To whom are you referring? European leaders let everyone down. US authorities hinted as early as 2016 that Europe needed to start looking out for its defense or risk being cut off. But the EU has always been staffed with navel-gazing technocrats obsessed with dispensing largesse to migrants, applying byzantine regulations, and indulging net-zero fantasies to mollify tomato-soup iconoclasts.

Are you fretting about tariffs?

Funny, you have been conspicuously silent about the above. The American people are mixed on tariffs, but if it comforts you, I would love to see 0% tariffs everywhere, except perhaps against countries like China, who have been rigging the game for decades with export-led growth policies. Anyway, just like with defense spending, you want our people to pay more for your stuff, and you want to pay less for our stuff. You want to call us crazy for charging our citizens a temporary 25 percent tariff on Canadian goods, but you charge your own people 21.6 percent, on average, to buy domestic goods. How regressive.

When European shadow governments became co-conspirators in efforts to censor Americans and Europeans alike, shitting on all the liberal values Europe had given the world, we lowly US troglodytes asked ourselves what we were paying to protect. Another managerial regime that is slowly enervating itself and opening the door to a future Caliphate? No thanks.

In many ways, the US is like this bipolar person (with some megalomania and paranoid schizophrenia to top it off)—a lovely person in their good periods, but whose bad ones just seem to get worse and worse. And now, your loyal wife—who’s a strong, independent woman—has left you.

Uncle Sam indeed acts like an abusive husband with the people’s money. But when the US cuts off your cash, security, or imbalanced trade, a “strong, independent woman” is being sent away. Put salve on your pride or Canada’s for thinking otherwise, but he who pays the bills calls the shots.

For many years, you’ve taken your northern neighbor for granted. You haven’t realized how attractive she is and that she has many charming suitors around the world. She’s currently having a love affair with Paris and Berlin (you’re probably too blind to see it), and Brussels is offering her a safe place to stay until she’s made up her mind. The verbal abuse and controlling behavior have been going on for far too long (alas, you used to get along so well), and the rest of the family is afraid you’ll turn violent one day.

Oh, Canada. Do you mean the country where people wait at least six months to get an MRI? Or the country where an alarming number of depressed, addicted, and destitute are being given state-assisted suicide? Canada’s what we call broke—with serious problems of her own. You’ve been listening to her blame us with sob stories at the beauty salon. But Canada, like Europe, has engaged in unilateral tariffs on US goods for years. While we have benefitted from Albertan energy, she, like you, has free-ridden on our defense spending.

If temporary, targeted tariffs bring Canada to a bilateral free trade agreement, we will resume our relationship with her. Apart from those who work in labor cartels unions, We the People don’t like tariffs much. Otherwise, the US doesn’t care if she sees other people. It’s not clear she has much to offer Europe except fossil fuels, which you got from your enemy Russia five minutes ago.

And what’s the deal with your unveiled threats against your old, trusted buddy Denmark!? They were there for you after 9/11 and fought and bled with you in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now, Denmark no longer considers you a friend (and the next time you refuse to leave their stuff alone, they’re calling the cops).

What cops? We are the cops, remember? Anyway, is this about Greenland?

We are not, of course, our “erratic and irresponsible” president, any more than angry Dutch farmers are Ursula von der Leyen. In my view, Greenland, like Scots or Basques, should have a right of self-determination. But nevermind. Am I to understand Greenland is Denmark’s “stuff”?

Seems colonialist—at least as much as the boor’s trolling annexation offer.

Now, about Iraq and Afghanistan. The people of Europe never wanted those wars—especially the Iraq War. After $4T and no clear missions accomplished, Americans became war-weary. Can’t you see how NATO was a snare that dragged a handful of European soldiers into conflicts that meant little to them?

You do realize that if you don’t get your act together soon, you’re going to lose all of us? And no, Russia—the old wife-beater down the road, who just lost their entire family due to serious domestic violence issues—isn’t going to be your friend. Not a real one. If you had a little more awareness about the situation in our neighborhood, you would know what they’re saying about you behind your back.

Russia, the so-called wife-beater, is more like a cornered animal. It is relatively poor, thinly populated, and surrounded by NATO countries. Ukraine was to be the last domino to fall. But Russia acted.

Russia has nukes. They’re less likely to use those nukes on us if we stop paying for an endless proxy war on their border. If you want to continue to degrade their military by spending precious resources on tanks, guns, and bombs, be our guest! Just know that more will die.

Anyway, the situation has gone on for far too long, and the rest of the family has kind of given up on you. Don’t get me wrong, we’ll all be delighted if you show up at the next family reunion in good spirits with a bowl of coleslaw and an expensive bottle of champagne, but we’re all prepared for you to turn up in a bad mood, get super drunk again, and pick fights with everyone—or not show up at all.

We don’t make champagne, remember? Only sparkling wine. The French said non.

The stock market has also moved on. Again, you’re like that person in the family who has a super high income but repeatedly fails to manage their finances—and blames everyone else for their problems.

Lemme get this straight: The US is broke—as in debt at 130 percent of GDP—and we’re finally starting to take responsibility for that fact. But you’re annoyed that we no longer wish to subsidize your lifestyle using our collective credit card?

We got tired of hearing you refer to our civilization as adolescent while feeling entitled to our protection. So since you’re all grown up, act like it.

I have an idea: Manage your own security and finances for once, and we’ll bring a bottle of sparkling rosé to the reunion. I’m sure the French will be tickled pink.

This time, however, you’re not going to take the rest of us down with you as you did back in 1929 and 2008. The US used to be a safe harbor in times of crisis, especially with a war in Europe; now, with the reckless and unpredictable behavior of your government, investors are looking for better opportunities in Europe. This is not 1929 or 2008. This time, your loss will be others' gain. You don’t have the cards to win a global trade war.

Oh, so our government is reckless and unpredictable. We know! We thought you were talking about us—your “Dear American Friends.” You see, we’ve been run by a managerial regime as execrable as your Eurocracy. And it drove us into a fiscal ditch. The only alternative to that status quo was the boor and his aspy friend with the chainsaw. We’ll see how it goes.

In any case, I hope from here on, you’ll at least be clear about whether you’re referring to the American people or our government officials—because despite the occasional electoral spectacles, these are not the same.

If the US isn’t interested in trading with the Canadians, the Europeans certainly will. Canada’s got everything Europe needs (energy and raw materials), and Europe has exactly what the Canadians need (a giant market, lots of people, hi-tech products). Sure, it would be easier to transport all those goodies across the land border, but we’ve got boats. All the best boats.

Energy? I hear Norway’s flush. Seriously, though, because we saw German officials close down energy plants—but stayed mum when Uncle Sam blew up the Russo-German Nordstream pipeline—we thought maybe you decided to run your economies on windmills, wood, and prayers. Canada certainly has the energy to sell you, but I’m not sure about your “high-tech products.” Maybe those roughnecks will listen to Spotify?

Please, though, trade! Just know that Canada charges way too much for butter.

It’s funny how everybody suddenly loves free trade now that Trump is tariff-trolling.

Sadly, one of the reasons investors are looking toward Europe now is because the continent is getting ready for war. It is what it is. But at least the Europeans seem to have their act together and are trying to make the best of the situation. Producing tanks instead of cars isn’t exactly going to increase the standard of living in Europe, but it will create jobs for working-class people and thus stabilize the continent somewhat (phew, Germany dodged a bullet there).

Good luck with all that! But careful as you gird your loins…

We’ve lived with President Eisenhower’s warnings about our technocratic class and the military-industrial complex since 1961. I hope it doesn’t become a cancer for you as it has for us. We’re starting chemo.

Now that Europe no longer expects the US to honor their alliances—and ever since Elon bragged about how he could turn off the Ukrainian army’s internet (and said “be quiet, small man” to the Polish foreign minister when he kindly noted that Poland is paying Ukraine’s Starlink bill)—the continent has begun to invest heavily in its own military industries, and buying American has simply become too risky (dependence on the US government for spare parts and software updates? No thanks).

Honor its alliances? NATO was formed to check the Soviet Union. It had outlived its usefulness before Yeltsin’s vodka bottle hit the floor. Yet we, the US taxpayers, have paid for your free ride for 35 years since. NATO kept growing and growing in search of a mission beyond bureaucrat enrichment and spooking the Russians, who got squirrely after that hydra grew 14 heads since 1991.

If paying for 70 percent of an organization chartered primarily to protect your continent is somehow our obligation forever, we would be keen to hear your case for no limiting principle. It sounds like your sense of entitlement is speaking for you, not any fair-minded assessment of the perpetual peace project.

The US military-industrial complex isn’t the only part of America’s economy to suffer. Silicon Valley also relies on its global appeal. With a corrupt and increasingly authoritarian government in the White House, individuals, companies, and governments around the world are seriously considering the risks of having their data on American servers—which could potentially be seized and weaponized by the US government.

I see. You don’t realize that your governments and ours have been complicit. You’re locked in a sad old narrative of Us versus Them (The US versus Europe) instead of (the People versus the Powerful in both the US and Europe), where states colluded with oligarchs to profit, tax, cancel, deplatform, and censor.

I’m sure that sentiment is too populist for a would-be philosopher king.

Further, our administrative welfare-warfare state was not only breaking us financially but prior administrations had become increasingly “authoritarian.” So this is a rich accusation coming from one whose governments imprison people for hurty words, lock up Pavel Durov, and demand Apple build a back door to our data here in the US. (Also, fuck your GDPR cookie popups.)

You think you’re taking up the mantle of the “liberal international order,” but you’re replanting the seeds of authoritarianism in Europe. Sure, our asshole president is full of bombast. But look carefully: He is only half as authoritarian as his predecessors and, apparently, less bellicose than Europe. He’s just louder.

The stock markets are responding accordingly. This is bad news for America, but an excellent opportunity for Europe and the rest of the world to develop alternatives to the platforms owned by the techno-feudal oligarchy in your country.

Stock prices go up, and stock prices go down. Tariff threats are tempests in a temporary teapot, but matters will likely restabilize in reciprocity. I predict you’ll replace our techno-feudal platforms with Chinese versions, anyway. Admit it: you aspire to be more like the CCP, with your CBDC and social credit mentality. (Wait, did I say “you”? I meant your governments and central banks. Your pliant people will almost certainly acquiesce, though.)

The rest of the world is also happy to welcome the ongoing brain drain from your shores. All those liberal tree-huggers, creative folks with big hearts and wild ideas. You hate them? We love them. And if they can’t stand living in an increasingly authoritarian and dysfunctional society, we’ll welcome them with open arms. And I’m sure they would be thrilled to set up new Silicon Valleys around the world.

Please. If there is a brain drain, it will not flow to Europe. Up to now, the flow has been mainly in the opposite direction. But Europe is rotting. Its borders are porous. Its institutions are failing. And its brains have long been draining. Almost nobody is having children, and the best and brightest are heading to greener pastures, even if those pastures are not America. You might attract a few purple-haired gender nonconformists from Portland, but they are not obsessed with creative endeavors. They are possessed by ressentiment.

When I talk to many of my friends on my side of the Atlantic, most have already given up on the US and are more interested in ensuring something similar won’t happen over here. Personally, however, I simply can’t give up on you. Not yet. It just pains me too much to see a good old friend I used to look up to—a close and formerly trusted member of the family—go crazy and destroy their life.

I wonder: What did you look up to about America? Was it that we have been willing to do big things while your population wiles away the hours smoking, sipping cappuccino, and contemplating Derrida? Sure, we’ve done big things, for good or ill. But our authorities have long been corrupt and imperialist. They were just better at hiding it in the past while shoving it down your throat.

The internet has changed all that.

The American people, who have revolutionary DNA, are demanding change.

Trump is the lamentable avatar of that transition. I know he offends delicate European sensibilities. Just know we’re all quite divided on the question of presidential decorum. (I’d rather hear JD Vance lecture you as he did in Munich.)

America, you need help. There is no shame in admitting it. I know you’d rather invade Greenland than go to therapy, but I’d still offer you my help and compassion if you’d accept it. Hopefully, you’ll enter one of your good periods soon, and then we can have a long and heartfelt conversation. My door remains open. But please, leave my stuff alone.

We don’t need therapy, whatever that looks like. We must take measures to get ourselves out of the multiple predicaments we’ve gotten ourselves into—including entangling alliances with you. Like us, you need to take responsibility for yourselves for once.

You labor under the illusion that a better world is to be created in the image of a Technocracy. You think your bureaucrats can design a prosocial Europe by dint of largesse and technical expertise. But your remaining investors and entrepreneurs are fleeing. “System thinkers” infest your capitals, but they are the wrong kind of thinkers.

In your open letter to America, Hanzi, I could scarcely detect a shred of metamodern thinking. One would think that such an esteemed exemplar of the philosophy would do a little better than going around calling people fascist or writing at a people in crude hypostatization. It’s partisanship by proxy—nothing one would expect to have been dreamed up by a genius in a quiet Swiss chalet.

We invite you to level up to infinite games that transcend this type of politics. If you do, you’ll realize that “America” is not the real enemy.